WXDU v​.​1

by Des Ark

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recorded new years day, live on WXDU 88.7fm by Ross Grady, following a long night of filthy debauchery. all songs unknowingly performed in a tuning one step lower than usual, hence my difficulty reaching some of those lower notes. please keep in mind also that i was not allowed to broadcast indecent material over the air, which basically rendered all of my songs instrumental & incoherent. thanks to my parents for clapping in the stairwell, ross grady for standing in as my surrogate brother & you for listening. keep going.


released January 1, 2006


tags: rock Pittsboro


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Des Ark Pittsboro, North Carolina

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Track Name: the subtleties of chores & unlocked doors
i been hanging round this girl & she wanted to date
i liked her just fine, but boy i loved to fuck her
met her at a party when the cops rolled up
she asked me to come home so i jumped in her truck
we kicked up all the gravel on the way to her door
wasnt five minutes fore my clothes were on the floor
id been hitting up the bottle since the sun went down
& i was willing for whomever was around

anyway its nice
knowing there’s a pretty girl
on the other end of all my long winded letters
that i scribble that i scrabble that i score from the road

it was getting pretty heavy so i proposed a plan
said id like to try it out being yr girlfriend
she knew how to drink from the bottom of the shelf
she could make em laugh until they pissed themselves
so i figured
if we could settle for this drag of a town
if we could settle for friends who aint around
if we could settle for disappointment
then we could learn to settle for this

she was a mess
& i was a mess
i thought itd be a good idea to get wrecked together
but when i came home i was feeling much better
so i packed my things
& left her

now there is this boy who i find sweet
sometimes i crawl under his covers late at night
we dont fuck
we barely speak
he just wraps me in his arms real tight
& when he breathes on the back of my neck,
when he brushes my skin by accident
oh lord it feels good to know ive got my patience back

we've got pills to ease our pain
we've got bodies to hush our loneliness
with enough of the two
i think were gonna make it through alright
we can get naked together
take dirty naps, whatever
but so long as we suffer apart from one another
you can hold my hand but you can never hold my heart
we can lie to all our friends, call in sick or whatever
but so long as we suffer apart from one another
you can hold my hand, but you can never hold my heart
Track Name: the artistic possibilities of sub-standard housing & food stamps
oh darlin
will you ring me up
will you take me to the drive-in
make a bed of yr truck

oh darlin
i would not die for you
but i might throw down in this dirt
till these skinny knees turn blue
just to beg a dance from you

if i believe in it
what wetness fills this cup
can i turn it into hope or is it still just some whiskey shot
cuz if its money on my mind then it goes down rough
but if its heartbreak that is drowning us
then it goes down
easy enough

if lyin up a storm hurts as bad as this
why then do you insist
lining yr pockets with this shit
you ought shovel out yr bed & lay for dead in it
but dont be calling me up
when yr sad
that i dont regret

well ships go down
& trains derail
tanks overturn
& pilots bail
but if theres one thing that ive learned in all of this
it's that sometimes we sink
sometimes we sink before we sail
Track Name: love is a lame dog
she's a fake fucking mama,
i hate her
but i want her

& every time we meet it's like a hurricane

the war has just begun
& all i wanna do is live through it
with a love so sick
i cant let go

i am not healthy, i am not healthy, i am not healthy
i'm not healthy.
i been sick for a while
& nursing it
but once youve got the fear, there's no escaping it
it takes away yr home
yr hope
& yr family
Track Name: lord of the ring & his fascist time keepers
i never met a chase that i could not catch
never fallen in love & not been bored by it
i've never asked a lover for their help
you learn better
when yr always picking lovers who can't help themselves

& i don't wanna try so hard anymore
i don't want no fucking lover
who makes me feel
like a failure
it ain't about the saints that we shoulda been,
what is done is done
i'm heartbroken
& i'm dealing with it

but oh it feels good to be used when yr using

it's a given that you love her but what would you think
if you fucked her
& she cried
'yr love is poisoning me to death'
which is exactly what i meant when i said it
say the only way i know to say i love you
is to let you go
Track Name: if by "gay" you mean totally fucking awesome, then yeah i guess it's pretty gay
someone tipped the scales & watched the waters flood
they blew out all the windows
caked the walls with mud
& everybody knows
when it hits in the south
that is a land that we will learn to live without...
that is a house that we have learned to live without

when ruins come in pieces with no pictures to recall
when you cant find a light to break or bright the shadows on the wall
everytime that we declare
'this is it, im giving up'
there comes a push
there comes a push
there comes a push
& we dont sit down, what we do is get back up

it was an idea that we had
& a bad idea at that
i wanna be loved by you, i sure do

lets learn to be alone together
lets cry our fucking eyes out
cuz we know no one will care for us
lets go home alone
lets fuck & lets expect it
when we dont feel any better

there goes the best damn summer that we ever spent
drinking on the porch
rolling our own cigarettes
jumping up & down in our panties on the bed, screaming
'that was the best summer that we will ever have'
& we believed it
we believed it
we believed it

so wont you take me to the kitchen of yr ex-wife's house
bore me with details
of all the papers you've put out
& i can't tell
when youre gonna figure out
that any line you use tonight will work
because we're both as fucking broken as we look
Track Name: goddamnit, sweetheart
so tell me who was it
who taught you this
& did they rule with the grace of an iron fist

to birth a healthy boy & then cripple him
with the sad silhouette
of his drunk daddy's lost intent

you are the lust that ain't never gonna leave these lips
the sunk anchor
of yr family's crimson anger

sometimes they don't know what they've been doing to us
is it a blood feud, mama, if we don't bite back?
if we don't give up on them?

well if you love somebody, you show it
you learn to open up yr arms
& let go
of it
you don't stay up all night drinking cheap beer
& then act like we oughta know it
Track Name: eloise
you alone could not cure me of this incurable disease

i skipped town for some time
when i came home
i'd lost that smile
that you'd learned to love
then learned to live without

what was left, sweet eloise
was a haunted memory
of a new lover uncovering the saddest sights in me

nothing makes you wanna quit
like a stranger telling you
that the midnight parts inside yr heart are all thats shining through

you do not belong to me
but every good woman deserves a life of decent company
well you can polish all yr kings
but you better play them god damn things
won't you come over tonight
pick up a fight
& learn how to win even when you lose
sweet eloise

but nothing makes you wanna quit
like a stranger telling you
that the midnight parts inside yr heart are all but coming true